Monday, May 4, 2009
Response By Connor Lucier
I got good results from doing something simple during school football season. Since it is flag football, you have to pick a flag that fits you and stays on you well. But every flag I took was either too small or fell off when I started running. So I came to a decision to try my brother's old flag that he used in the previous football season and WOW. It was so much different that almost no one on the team could pull my flag off and they even thought that I was cheating by tying it so no one could pull it off.
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Critiquie by sonia Erazo
ReplyDeleteWell what can I say about your journal entry...
What I really like about you journal entry is that is about football. :) ;)
What Also aggree is that many people think that by doing somrthing simple things are not going to come out the way they expected . But its false.
What i disagree on is the sentence were you put wow. I disagree with it because you din't give a lot of details. I understanf that you explained it on the other sentence but i think you should've included more deatails.
like for example that is was so awsome that when I was playing and kids tried to take it away, it made the other team think that I was cheating. Also a good result i also got was, that even though i thought of something quick i got a good result.
Or something like and you could include a good conclusion sentence.